THE THIRD REINCARNATION OF THE FINAL GRANDSON OF
WOWBAGGER THE INFINITELY PROLONGED
The date is...not exactly known, but around the middle of August 1990. The location is...known: Gütersloh, Germany. A bored games designer takes some time off to code a small program based on an idea originally by two friends of his, concocted in the early summer of 1987. The first version of this program gets released on 29 August 1990, and is named "Wowbagger (the Infinitely Prolonged)". Its goal: To insult when- and wherever possible. Its use: None. Platform: Atari ST.
Various enhanced versions appear in the months and even years after that: The configurable "Son Of" (February 1993), the extended "Final Son Of" (May 1993), the GEM-enhanced "Grandson Of" (August 1994) and the totally flexible and even more extended "Final Grandson Of" (July 1998). This "Final Grandson Of" is the last version to be released on the Atari platform.
Around the time when this same programmer feels his way around the intricacies of "Visual Basic" on Windows platforms, early summer 1998, the first PC (Windows 95/NT) version is released - "The Reincarnation of the Final Grandson Of" (June 1998). An improved (read: debugged, but also enhanced) version is released in July of that year. Due to a pretty terrible hard disk crash (combined, needless to say, with said programmerís habit of not making regular enough backups) the source code is lost that same month. A grim day in the history of profanity and creative insultry alike :-).
In August 1999, with the erection of the "Wowbagger" support site and rekindled interest in the program, a new version is thought of, now "The Second Reincarnation of..." (a.k.a. "Wowbagger 6"). In November, time is allocated to sit down and do the nitty gritty. This latest version includes more words (of course) and lots more different languages.
December 2nd 2004 sees the release of "The Fifth Anniversary Edition", version 6.6.6. This to celebrate the 5th anniversary of 'The Second Reincarnation' and release upon mankind a version that is rather more bug-fixed for operating systems like Windows 2000 and Windows XP.
After 2008 or 2009 sees the loss of all source files once more, a hiatus sets in. In March 2013, after having mastered the rudiments of PHP and MySQL, the original programmer once again finds energy and inclination to streamline the site into a web-based insult experience, with the software download side of things becoming less emphasised. A new monicker is thought up: The Third Reincarnation of the Final Grandson of Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged.
The software side is eventually entirely discontinued at Yuletide 2013.
WHO IS WOWBAGGER THE INFINITELY PROLONGED?
A character from Douglas Adamsí "The Hitchhikerís Guide to the Galaxy" (to be more precise, in the third volume of the series, entitled "Life, the Universe and Everything"), Wowbagger is a person whoís had a, shall we say, incident with a time travelling machine, some liquid lunch and a pair of elastic bands. Due to this incident he became immortal, which was initially a lot of fun, but after a while caused him to work up quite a grudge against the universe. Henceforth known as Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged, he set out to insult every creature in the entire universe - in alphabetical order. The unabridged version of this story can be foundhere. More information on Douglas Adams can be found on his official site, http://www.douglasadams.com.
You can get the password, which is required to generate insults that consist wholly or partly of XXX-rated phrases, by clicking here. This semi-roundabout way of telling you the password is to make sure that nobody will get seriously offended by accident.
HELPING TO IMPROVE
"Wowbagger" is far from perfect. Some languages do not support too many possible insults. Some languages are sadly missing completely. If you think you can help by supplying me with extra words and phrases, or perhaps analysing the grammar of a language that has so far not yet been implemented (maybe not even in the list yet!), do feel free to contact me, but donít send any research just yet. Iíve got detailed guidelines regarding what I need to know, and how I can cope best with the data you provide, which I will send to you.
In exchange for your efforts, however, I can offer you nothing more than a credit in the upcoming version of this page. Global fame or a feasible means to retire to some Pacific island, alas, you will have to attain through other means :-).
I am rather proud to say that none of the words used here are fictitious, though quite a few may very much seem to be. I started using a standard dictionary, the "Superior Peopleís Dictionary" by Peter Bowler, and the help of some song lyrics as well as the assistance of a great variety of people. The gross words are usually off Carcassí "Symphonies of Sickness" CD lyrics. The third Atari version also incorporated a lot of new words from various dictionaries (most notably amongst which is "Slang and Euphemisms" by Richard Spears) as well as quite a lot of words heard on the BBC series "Red Dwarf". Further credits go to "Birds of a Feather", "Beavis & Butthead", a very old DOS-based program of which Iíve quite forgotten the name, "South Park" (though not as much as I had expected), DBA Magazine, Joseph Heller, "Blackadder" and various Thesauri. Version 6 also incorporated a lot of cool words from the extremely funny "Paperweight" by Stephen Fry (the manís a genius!) and the wonderfully irreverent "Duckman" cartoons. I used David Thorneís "A Comprehensive Welsh Grammar" for the initial Welsh stuff. Dutch inspiration further came from Eric Schreursí "Joop Klepzeiker" and "Geharrebar", and Captain Haddock utterings from several "Tin Tin" comic books. And life, of course.
Thanks go to: Dave and Tim Moss of The Lost Boys (for initial help in establishing the English insult building blocks dictionary); Stefan Posthuma, Dave Bloemendaal and Jordy (for the initial Dutch vocabulary); Jeff Zalkind (who helped establish the first set of German words); Dafne Wesenaar (Spanish info); Grazio Falzon (Maltese grammar assistance); Dave Lacerda; Michael Raasch (German); Lars Johansson (for inestimable help with the Swedish department); Ronny Hatlemark (for putting me on the right track with Norwegian); Matthew M. Murphy (for a lot of Shakespearean-like insult phrases); Todd Clements (help with Shakespearean stuff too); Steve Cohen (Pissed Offís Self Abuse Generator); Martin Janda (Czech); Anssi Hyytiäinen (Finnish); Ville Saalo (Finnish); Thomas Tavoly (Hungarian); Laura van der Linden (French, too); Michael Dufek (creator of a German "Schimpfwortgenerator"); Susana Antunes (Portuguese); Jonny Nott (for PHP, MySQL and utf-8 diacritical help); Mark Mandel (Esperanto); Adriaan Lategan (Afrikaans).
The author of this software will not accept ANY responsibility for ANYTHING (including toes trod on, sensitivities violated, wraths triggered and senses of humour overflown). It should be noted that the XXX-rated curses are genuinely offensive. They will NOT appear unless you enable them explicitly by using a password.